ritu_sexy
Elite
Joined: 22 Jun 2007
Posts: 34
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 Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 9:32 am Post subject: Munnabhai M.S and Circuit M.S |
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This was when Munnabhai and Circuit (why not?) were practising to be surgeons.
SCENE ONE
Scene One- Operation Theater. Munnabhai and Circuit are talking.
MUNNABHAI: E Circuit, Ek mast body lekar aa. Operation karne ka hai.
CIRCUIT: Bhai, tu chinta mat kar. Tu tension mat le, bhai. Tu padai mein dhyan de. Main kuch karta hoon. Bhai filmi body chalega kya?
MUNNABHAI: Daudega.
(Circuit strides out and after a few minutes comes in dragging a shirtless Salman Khan.) Bhai, dekkho kya mast body laaya hoon.
MUNNABHAI: (surprised) Arre lekin yeh toh zinda hai. Mujhe toh dead body chahiye tha.
CIRCUIT: Woh kya hai na bhai. Tum is per operation karega toh yeh waise bhi dead hone wala hai. Phir tum uske dead body pe operation karna. Two-in-one bhai. Fayda hi fayda.
MUNNABHAI: Lekin yeh kitna healthy body hai. Ispe operation karne ko mera dil nahi maanta hai.
CIRCUIT: (whispering in Munnabhai’s ear) Bhai, yeh sirf healthy dikta hai. Iska liver poora gayela hai.
MUNNABHAI: Nahi re Circuit. Tu koi aisa body la jo kisse ke kaam ka nahi hai.
CIRCUIT: Bhai tu chinta mat kar. Main aisa body lata hoon. (He hurries out and moments later he enters with a politician in tow.) Yeh le bhai. Yeh body kissi ke kaam ka nahi hai.
MUNNABHAI: Arre lekin yeh bhi zinda hai.
CIRCUIT: Iska zinda rehne se kiisi ko koi pharak nahi padta hai bhai.
MUNNABHAI: Theekh hai. Main iska khopdi kholta hoon. Tu uska pet kaat.
CIRCUIT: Bhai, main? Lekin main toh doctor nahi hoon.
MUNNABHAI: Arre circuit, logo per chaku churi chalaate chalaate tu bhi aadha doctor ban gaya hai.
CIRCUIT: (embarrassed) Kya bhai.
MUNNABHAI: Chal la la. Woh chota chaku la. (Circuit hands him the scalpel. They cut open the politician’s head and gasp.)
CIRCUIT: Arre Bhai, iski khopdi toh khaali hai!!
MUNNABHAI: Aur echo bhi karta hai. Sun! (and he hums ‘M bole toh’. The words ‘bole toh’ echo twice so we hear ‘M bole toh bole toh bole toh’. Then Circuit cuts open the politician’s stomach and shouts out loudly.Wads of money tumble out from the dissected tummy.)
CIRCUIT: Bhai! Iske toh pet mein maal hi maal bhara hai! [Soon Munnabhai and Circiut become rich .Meanwhile politicians are disappearing at a fast rate and the crime rate falls down drastically. Ordinary patients begin to flock to Munnabhai ]
SCENE TWO
Munnabhai’s office. Munnabhai and Circuit are present in the room. Both are clearly agitated about something.
MUNNABHAI: Circuit jara phir se number laga toh.
CIRCUIT: Bhai kitne din se toh try maar raha hoon. [He dials the no. and listens] Tumara ring tone kya hai bhai?
MUNNABHAI: Arre bola tha na- Aamir khan ka purani film ka gaana. ‘Tip Tip baarish shooroo ho gayi…
CIRCUIT: Bhai phone ring ho raeeli hai phir bund ho raheeli hai. Shayad barabar signal nahi pakad rahi hai.
MUNNABHAI: Phone kissi kopche gir gayi ho gayi.
( Meanwhile a patient who had a kidney operation some days ago, walks in.)
MUNNABHAI: Kyun mamu sab teekh hai na? Abhi no.1 karte waqt koi problem toh nahi hai na?
PATIENT: Ab mere kaan mein problem hai.
MUNNABHAI: Kya problem hai?
PATIENT: Abhi jab bhi main number one karta hoon toh mere kaan mein yeh gaana bajne lagta hai- ‘Tip Tip baarish shooroo ho gayi …
(Both Munnabhai and Circuit gasp and look at each other incredulously as the truth dawns on them.)
CIRCUIT: Bhai, mobile kopche mein nahi iske kidney mein hai!!! Isliye signal nahi pakad rahi thi.
(They drag the poor man to the operating table and once again operate on him.)
MUNNABHAI: (Munnabhai is thrilled to find his mobile in the man’s kidney.) Mil gayee!! Circuit kitna paani hai iske kidney mein. Meri mobile ki vaat lag gayi. (Making a face he removes the mobile gingerly and gives it a shake.)
CIRCUIT: (Wiping his face) Bhai, sambhal ke!!
MUNNABHAI: Saada paani hai re, Circuit.
CIRCUIT: (Shaking his head vigorously) Nahi bhai. Saada paani nahi hai.
MUNNABHAI: (Realizing) Arre haan, Sorry.
SCENE THREE
One week later. Munnabhai’s office.
(Munnabhai and Circuit are admiring Munnabhai’s new cell phone.)
CIRCUIT: Bhai mobile bahut achhi hai. Poorani bechh di kya?
MUNNABHAI: Bechni hi padi. Itna time tak paani mein rehke uski toh vaatach lag gayi.
(The kidney patient walks in.)
MUNNABHAI: Kyun mamu, kaisa hai? Abhi toh gaana sunayee nahi deta hai na?
PATIENT: Nahi. Sirf ‘Tick Tock Tick Tock’
CIRCUIT: (Looking at Munnabhai’s wrist) Bhai tumhaari ghadi!!
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